Why do even the smartest people sometimes act incorrectly?

In this article, I talk to you about self-development and its importance in our daily lives. I have reviewed common problems that we may encounter on the path to self-development and tried to explain how our brain works within this process. I also want to share with you some tips and strategies for effective self-development, including creating new behavioral models and learning to manage stress.

It is important for me to tell you this

Here is a community of wonderful people who engage in their development in an eco-friendly manner. We are not bad, we are good and want to become better. We are who we are now because we made the best decisions available on our path, even though they may seem unreasonable now.

Now, let's discuss your attitude towards yourself and your opportunities for improvement.

I am not perfect myself and do not believe in perfection. Perfectionism generates many problems. Perfect people are not perfect, they only create an image of perfection that affects us.

Therefore, we do not scold ourselves when we find something in ourselves that we like more in others, and we say:

Ordinary Story

In working with people, I noticed a very common problem, which I later identified in myself. The story goes as follows:

I suggest to a client to use the technology of coaching or cognitive-behavioral therapy. The response I get:

— Yes, I know! It doesn't help me.

I think: "Okay, strange". I suggest another one. The same response or they say that "the technology doesn't work".

Then we start to analyze behavioral models and find out that the theory is not applied in practice.

The person knows and understands it perfectly, but the behavioral pattern does not change, it needs to be developed. Here you may think, like many others the following:

— I can think and do it, it's no big deal. I know everything.

Yes, that's true, but there's a weak spot here.

How the Brain Works

Cortex

In the brain, there is a cortex that is responsible for thinking. This process requires effort. Concentration is a complex task. Trying to keep more than 3 things in mind simultaneously is very exhausting and quickly depletes our mental resources, or as Tim Urban calls it in his famous TED talk - think fuel.

→ Thinking is a difficult process ←

For this process, you need to activate consciousness and spend a lot of energy on it, and often willpower as well. Therefore, thinking is really painful. And difficult. And at this moment lies the weak spot between knowing and applying. But we can be helped with this.

Striatum

Striatum leads the autopilot, a process that occurs unconsciously and does not require our engagement.

It operates by patterns and consumes almost no energy. When you repeat something often, it notices these patterns and automates them. It's like driving a car after several months of practice, or automatically opening a door. When you see a handle, you don't think about how to open it based on its shape. But you start to think when you see a sign that says "pull" or "push". Because reading is the responsibility of the part described above – the neocortex, or simply the cerebral cortex.

And finally the function of the amygdala which loves to ruin everything

But she doesn't do it just like that.

The amygdala is a key element in the brain's emotion processing system and played a vital role in the survival of our ancestors. About 60 thousand years ago, presumably in the conditions of ancient savannahs, the amygdala helped people respond to immediate threats, such as predator attacks. This was achieved by triggering the "fight or flight" response, during which the amygdala focused attention on potential danger, temporarily limiting access to positive memories and reducing the ability to think rationally.

Modern research shows that despite significant environmental changes, the mechanisms of the amygdala's operation remain the same. Thus, in modern urban conditions, the stress response triggered, for example, by a remark from a boss, can be disproportionately strong and comparable to a life-threatening situation. This is because the amygdala continues to respond to stressful stimuli as if we were in a survival situation, which often leads to inadequate emotional reactions in everyday situations.

Therefore, we should regularly make some efforts in a calm environment. More about this below:

What to do

You need to develop a behavioral pattern.

A reaction that you won't need to control consciously. One that will work automatically: before mental effort or emotional response.

What's the Advantage

Obviously, you will become better, more efficient, and happier.

Because a habit operates outside of our field of vision, it doesn't use willpower and doesn't cause stress.

Example from the Physical World

If you have a habit of washing your plate immediately after eating, even when you are tired, you will just do it effortlessly, without irritation or regret.

The striped body will automatically initiate this process (without your consciousness) and won't create unnecessary tension.

Example from the Mental World

Imagine the situation:

You are tired after a long workday or extended study session in the evening. Your blood sugar level drops. You feel irritated and angry, and your brain is working at its limit.

At this moment, your boss asks you to do something urgent, or you remember an important task or assignment.

This causes enormous stress and a reactive response that can break you down.

If you constantly work on your emotions, study your reactions to irritants, and reflect on your behavior, you will be able to handle this calmly. The level of stress will not rise to a critical point, and you will be able to maintain your emotional health and physical well-being.

Conclusion

In conclusion, self-development is not just a process that can be turned on and off at will. It requires constant awareness, understanding, and application of new knowledge in practice. It is not always easy, and sometimes it can cause stress or discomfort. However, with patience and perseverance, you can develop new behavioral patterns and become a happier, more effective, and more confident person.